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Waaaah. I'm not going to use Blogger anymore. Haha. And I thought I'd last longer here. Seems like I was wrong. :P Sa LiveJournal na lang ako. Parang masaya naman dun eh. Hehe.
I want to be different so I'm going to LJ! Haha. I already made it.
At first, ki-neep ko lang siya para ma-monitor yung friends ko na nasa LJ, pero ngayon.. haha.. nag-enjoy na ang bruha. ^___^
Check it out! Lebasei @ LiveJournal.
Haha. I had fun here din naman. ^__^ With Dior Angel's layouts and stuff. But hey, I'm not ready for a website-like blog. Haha. Dun na lang muna ako sa super daling i-manage. Off to LJ I go! ^___^
Haha. I'm bored, exams tomorrow, I don't have anything to share to you right now.. So here, avatars! Haha. :) I just found them. None of them's mine. Hehe. ^___^
dudielebasei was born to human parents
Hehehehe! Found it on Amcam's LJ. Hehehe. Check it out! Come on! Let's fight! Lez go! Haha. :D Labo.
It's a Saturday and I'm just lying on the bed with my mom's laptop on my lap. Haha. Maybe that's why they call it a laptop. My uncle said it should be on the table, a lat surface. If so, then why don't they just call it a tabletop? But maybe that's where the desktop computer comes in. If you can't use a computer on some other surface besides the table, then what's the use of a laptop if you can just use a desktop? I mean -- a dektop's more user-riendly, it has a mouse, it takes a lot of space, yes, but it provides more stuff for the user. Strange.
But anyway, I wouldn't want to talk about a computer all day long. Haha.
Now I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker. Yes, my blog's not as good as her writing, but sitting (or rather lying) here typing away while the world goes on around makes me feel like her character in Sex and the City. Haha. Awesome TV series. I snagged a few episodes and learned a lot about the sexual life of the feminine species. Actually, that TV series is far more effective than our Health class in school. Sorry to say but. Yeah. >__o I admit. I've made that comparison.
There hasn't been anything that's erupted out of the blue, today. Well except for the fact that I woke up full and not hungry, unlike the usual me. Odd. I've always wanted a meal after I wake up and before I get on my morning routine.
There was one thing though. It's not an ordinary thing but it didn't surprise me. My dad called. This morning. He's never themorning type o person. He always gets grumpy when we wake him up so we can spend some family time somewhere. That was how many years ago. Before my parents got separated we used to go to Tagaytay, go horse-back riding. Almost every weekend! I remember looking forward to weekends when I was small and days spent for reviewing for the exams haven't bothered me yet. I remember drinking buko juice right out of the coconut. I remember almost falling off a horse. I remember going to the Quezon City circle and renting a bike with my sister. Haha. Those were the days.
Now I'm all grown up, I don't think I still know how to ride a bike, been centuries since I last touched a horse, let alone ride one, exams are coming up and mom finally shed light on one particular family problem. My dad.
Why? I don't really know why. All the reasons I got from her were shocking, so to speak. I was neither happy nor sad about that the fact that my dad used to do that while he was still together with my mom. I mean. He's such a -- a-- an inconsiderate... uhm.. PERSON.. To ever do such a thing. He has a family to feed, children to educate, a wife to love. And he did that?! No wonder mom's so mad at him.
Before we had those mother-daughter talks, they're usually held inside the car during traffic, I used to get angry at my mom for hating dad so much. After they got separated and my dad moved back to my grandmother's house in Malabon and we stayed with my grandfather (mom's side) in Blue Ridge, my dad was given permission to visit us every once and a while. He used to treat us to everything we see sa mall, buy us the food that we fancy sa restaurant. When we get home and talk to our mom about what we did, she'd tell us about spending too much money and being spoiled by our dad. My fuse would always snap at those words. Dad's being good to us, mom. Why can't you see that. Pinapapasaya lang man kami eh. Bakit ba. What's wrong with that?
Now I understand what she's been doing all those years. She doesn't want us to grow up like our dad. He's not a bad guy, really he's not. He's a best friend kind of guy.. But honestly, I don't think he's fit enough to be a dad. I keep asking, jokingly of course, why my mom married him instead of her other boyfriend. What, ginayuma ba siya? Love potion or something? Ah whatever it is, she was tricked. It was a mistake of a lifetime. She keeps telling us everything's she's doing is for us, she loves us and she wants us to grow into mature ladies. That's what all mothers want, right? But now I wonder if she really ever regretted the day she conceived me, the day she conceived my sister. Was it worth it? Mahal ba talaga kami ni mama even before we were born to actually push through withg her pregnancy? I mean -- She could have just aborted either of us to get it all done with. No more growing up, wala nang graduation, wala nang College to take care of. Right after birth, death kagad. I wonder if that thought ever crossed her mind. You see, she's been having problems even from the start. Even before we were born. That's what she said. Then kung malabo na pala yung marriage, baket hindi mo pinigilan ang magka-anak? Do you ever regret it, mom?
Sometimes I just wonder.
Seryoso yan, ah. That's what's written on our backboard in the classroom. We don't know who wrote it there but everytime I take a test, I keep away from temptation. See, there are three of us. Seatmates. Sometimes there're four. But anyway. We help each other sometimes when we don't know the answers to our tests. Yes, that's cheating. But ever since those words have been written, our cheating habits have weakened to a minimum. It's only going to be a matter of days before we finally stop. Hay nako. >__o Time to be good. It's not fair anymore.
High School's one hectic thing. It's like -- All of the Juniors of all the problems of the world are jam-packed in one chapter of our lives. High School. Four gruelling years. Many adults, even my mom, say that you learn everything you need to face the life of a young human being in HS. There are many ups and downs, yeah, but the number of both successes and experience will probably last you a lifetime. It won't be easy, your victory and your greatests moments won't come to you by themselves. People say you'd have to face them.
I want to do that. I want to face what needs facing. Ginagawa ko kasi, I wait for the moment na hindi na kaya before I do it. Hindi na pwede yun. Only now do I realize that. Not much time for gimicks. No more fooling around. I have to be serious. Last year, I knew I f*cked up big time. My Math, for one. 3rd quarter, I got a VS for my quarterly grade. VS stands for Very Satisfactory, it equals to a B or a B-. Pagdating ng 4th quarter -- Hala. I failed the subject. I got an NSH -- and that's equal to a D in our HS grading system. Ano ba. Ha. Okay ka lang?
The reality of my grades last year didn't really affect me at the beginning of my HS life. I still fooled around, big time, syempre. If not in school then maybe at home. I know na I only did my homework once sa bahay and the only reason I did that was because I had to choice. Walang internet. Walang cable sa TV. Tapos tulog na lang ako ng tulog. Might as well spend my time sa studies ko. My God, that's the only time na sinabi ko a sarili ko yun. And what, ending na ng 3rd Quarter! 3/4 of my Freshman year has already passed, gone, away, bye bye na. At wala pa akong ginagawa.
It all sunk in to me na when I read my friends' blogs. They sounded serious. Actually they are serious. Their studies, their standings sa school. They're two of the smartest people I know. Haha. Yes. Two posts that affected me concerning the academics. And this other one, siya yung isa sa mga pinaka laid-back at cool people na alam ko. They're all affected by the school, the students in it, their social lives and what those do to their personal lives. Ano ba yan. They're starting to peel away their old skins and they're starting to grow new coating. Kung dati Jap paper, ngayon maid of leather. I know this is kinda sentimental.. Pero they're beginning to grow up.
I'm being left behind. I just realized that. I need to straighten out my life! Ano ba! Wala na after this. It's either you fail or you gain. No in-between paths. It's either up or down. Nasa elevtor ako ngayon. The bellhop's asking for my floor. It's either the Penthouse or the Basement. I don't know what to do!
Third Quarterly Exams!
Our deaths are due on Tuesday. Haha. The whole High School department! Last minute tests before Christmas Vacation. Haha. Ultimate torture, isn't it? Well, look at the bright side, at least we wouldn't have to take our super long tests after Christmas.. That way, we wouldn't have to review and cram all the way through Noche Buena and New Year's Eve. Haha. ^__^ Little miracles.
Rai came over yesterday.
Hehe. I don't think you know her. ^__^ Haha. She's my girlfriend (as in close friend na girl) in the neighbourhood dati. Well in my last neighbourhood. We were neighbours back in Xavierville, when I still lived there. We moved back in at Blue Ridge last March. It's been boring months since I last saw her, and, I admit that I really missed her companionship and her natural sense of humor. Haha. She used to sleepover at my house even though she actually lived next door lang. Haha. Desperado ako magka-sleepover. Nyahahaha.
Eeee. Test tomorrow.
We have a test in Filipino tomorrow! And speaking of Filipino.. We had this presentation earlier. Haha. We didn't get the highest score but we passed! And that rarely happens. Our Filipino teacher's the Subject Supervisor and she's one strict momma. Eeeeek. O.O
Wahoooo! No classes tomorrow!
Tomorrow's Dec. 8, Our Lady of the Immaculate Concepcion day (?). Hehehe. That's why we don't have classes. Our school patron's Mama Mary and it's a Catholic school thing so we're honoring her feast day. Yehey! Another free day tomorrow!
Woohoo! I didn't have to make a speech!
Me, along with 5 others didn't present today. We won't present on Thursday, either, like the rest of the class. Why? One is because me and KC (my fellow non-speecher), we had this group work for C.L. (Christian Living). It's a video presentation and we really had to work on it. We didn't have a choice but to attend Tuesday night, there was no other time slot we'd both be available on. Because of that, we weren't able to prepare last night. Hehehe. Teacher said it was a lame excuse, "Sorry to say," she says. In front of the whole class, too! Hehehe. But it's true naman eh. >.o Wah! I'm guilty. >.<
I still have a cold! *sniff sniff*
Ah well. I'd be having this cold until the day I die. Waaaah!
Ngo-ngo ako forever! Ehehehehehe.ü
No more school! No mooooore!
We have this Speech thing in English. We have to do it on the spot! No memorizing.. Or, at least, if you're going to memorize it, you shouldn't make it seem like you did. Noo. I can't memorize! Nooo! I just got home from a friend's house. We had to do this project for C.L. (Christian Living). It wasn't that successful but it's okay. Hehehe. We did some work done anyway. But noooo!
I'm up tomorrow. My friend, Loreen told me that I should do it tomorrow.. So that we wouldn't have to worry about making a Speech during the Quarterly Exams. She's right.. In a lot of ways, and I agree. But what the hell have I gotten myself into? :( Noooo! I'm dead. X___x
You died because you rushed. Too bad